this datacenter appears to be 99.99 percent destroyed

There's usually more than one datacenter in an AZ.

I don't know if this is serious or if it's a joke.

They wouldn't fake uptime for their shareholders, now would they?

Green Checkmark with a little “i” notice

and one of those footer codes to update the year next to the Copyright

Won’t get a red dot until they pour molten lava over it.

Solid lava just won't do.

It usually does not unless you happen to be the ribcage of an Aztec warrior

0.99999