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My favorite version:

A patient comes into a doctors office complaining of pain all over. The patient grabs their elbow and says: "It hurts when I touch my elbow like this." They then grabs onto their shin and says "When I grab my shin like this, it starts hurting too!" Finally, they massage their forehead and say "It even hurts when I rub my head! Doctor what's wrong with me!?"

The doctor runs a few tests and replies: "Your finger is broken."



My favorite doctor joke, semi related:

Patient: Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure?

Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not.

Patient: That's wonderful! I could never play piano before!


Patient: Every time I drink coffee I feel a pain in my right eye.

Doctor: Take the spoon out of the cup.


Simpsons did this one in the Planet of the Apes episode. Here's a musical rendition by Dankmus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMRcIOjdojU


What’s wrong with me?

I think you’re crazy.

I want a second opinion!

You’re also lazy!


I am not crazy! (in the voice of chuck from Better Call Saul)


I’m fond of an exchange from the end of “The Doctor Dances”:

Mrs. Harcourt : My leg’s grown back. When I come to the ‘ospital I had one leg.

Dr. Constantine: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?


You just need to practice.




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