I'm not, but I am around SF a few times a year and would love to belay or spot. I'll contact you off line. I'm usually bouncing between crags in the US (mostly east coast) so we should keep in touch if anything.

This is a huge issue in its own right. She knows exactly what kind of life she wants to live, I think I know (and is inline with hers) but can't feel sure about anything.

Don't let her tie you down to a life you don't want to live. You can't live your life for another person.

I almost made this mistake.

Refusing to make this mistake ended the relationship, but it was well worth it.

People come to realize things in their own time. Personally I think (a lot of) people who seem to figure things out too quickly don't fully realize the magnitude of their decision at the time (not to say that's her case). Figuring it out for yourself is the only way. I was in pain and I came to (a nearer certainty) by writing down my thoughts every single day for months (as others here have also suggested). Everyone has their own style though - writing, talking it out with a psychiatrist or friend(s), praying/meditating...

> Typically, when I edge down this path, I de-clutter my life. Stuff weighs you down more than anything else, and it's a constant drain on your energy and money. Stop doing things that are unnecessary, get rid of some stuff you don't / won't use, and generally purge your life of everything that really doesn't matter. It'll free up a lot of free time, and likely money-pressure too.

Thank you for confirming what I was already going to do. I am planning to donate or sell everything I don't absolutely need.

I agree that this is a most beneficial/therapeutic exercise. I started doing it 5 years ago, and it has helped immensely. I am much more agile now.

Something else that I have done is keep a "junk journal" where I have taken a picture of all of the stuff that I have sold/donated/given away. After a few years you can look back and go "Wow...I really had a ton of crap"

It's funny how we think we own stuff, but it can really own us.

I agree with you on #2: going to the gym and traveling to work on my hobby (travel for rock climbing) has helped me feel a lot better in the moment, but ultimately feels like I'm putting off what's actually bothering me.

My diet is good already, but I feel like I should relax it a little bit (more social drinking, maybe a little more junkfood) as it will help me be less pre-planned and more free-flowing and social. I consider myself introverted (as many guessed and seemed clear), but am not stereotypically introverted: I have many close friends and don't have ridiculous anxiety attacks when meeting people. (Sometimes I do though).

Just relax more, if you frequent places like HN, you can easily get a feeling of inadequacy, don't fret about it. You're in your mid 20's, lot of people her are in their 40's and 50's. As for the occasional anxiety when meeting people, just do your thing, become truly competent in the things you consider to be important....once you have this, the anxiety will disappear I suspect.

When you get older and things like family start to pull on your attention, you'll realize that if you really gave it your best shot, that's good enough, whether you were a famous smashing success or not. Just work towards being happy for yourself, not towards what you perceive the community expects you to achieve.